Have you ever thought of yourself…? Do I even matter? Do I deserve happiness? Could it get any worse? Would it be wrong for me to do what I want for a change? Am I crazy for wanting a particular level of reciprocity? Can I heal from this pain? Would I be wrong if I actually wanted revenge? Would I be considered evil if I was just a little bit jealous? What if I wanted a different life? What if I actually left the country, stopped all communication with everyone, and created a whole new identity? What if I just stayed with him? What if I had the baby? What if I didn’t have the baby early? What if I stayed on the job? What if I eloped? What if I just told them the truth? What if I just went to college? What if I just gave it a chance? What if it fails? What if it doesn’t fail? Can I handle it? What if I stayed with my family? What if I wore something different would he have raped me? What if I was from a different family? What if I had more money? What if I didn’t get married? What if I was prettier? What if I was her? What if I was braver?
You see everyone thinks that those of us who write stories are the actual storytellers but we fail to realize that we all are storytellers. Every single thought and decision we have made turns into a particular narrative. We direct our lives on a daily basis just by making choices, whether we realize it or not, and whether we like it or not. Our perspective on the stories we tell ourselves is probably the most powerful gift we actually possess. If you tell your story from a negative narrative, it is most likely we begin to feel like we don’t matter or our lives are just an example of suffering if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. At the same time, I feel as though media has romanticized how a story of suffering can yield the greatest hope and that the strongest people are the people that go through specific suffering, but what if I told you that all suffering has its own significant meaning. Again the most powerful stories are not the stories we tell others but the stories we tell ourselves because no matter what happens in our lives we can never actually lie to ourselves.
Sometimes we are so focused on other people’s stories and how their stories look and sound so powerful and how they seem to always get things right and look like Beyonce even after they wake up in the morning! You sit there with your morning coffee or tea or glass of wine no judgment here if you drink in the morning and think to yourself,
- How on earth am I messing up?
- Some of us have been writing other people’s stories with us as the main character and adding on different supporting actors and we wonder why we feel unfulfilled
- Well its simple IT AINT YOUR STORY THOUGH! We need to stop feeding each other the illusion that there are some stories that are more significant than others, we watch these movies and read these books of other people who have accomplished amazing things, and instead of being inspired, we are discouraged. We close the books and stop the movie and think to ourselves
- What am I doing with my life?!
- Well exactly!
- What are you doing with your life? Busy questioning your significance in comparison to someone’s narrative?
- Most of us want the success story of that particular person without going through their struggle, so in essence, we want the idea of what their life looks like now without having to experience what it took to get there.
- So why not go through what you are going through and say your story in your own words because what made other people’s stories so significant to you is that they were brave enough to tell their stories to you and they told their stories in THEIR OWN WORDS.
We may all ask ourselves the same questions I asked in the beginning but we all have different stories to tell. The greatest stories are the ones we tell ourselves because those perspectives shape our lives and give an opportunity to those around us to either be inspired or discouraged. Some of us wish we could start our lives all over again and so we can rewrite our stories but unfortunately, we cannot do that. What we have the power to do is to change the way we tell the story, change the narrative going forward. Royal Lioness Foundation in Collaboration with Motimagz is giving an amazing opportunity to women all over the world to share their stories in hopes that we will inspire each other but also give women an opportunity to create a community that is there to support and celebrate our bravery and authenticity. As women we are able to create a space where we get to celebrate our authenticity, our uniqueness, our joys, our pain, and of course a good laugh whilst we are at it. We might not always look graceful in the storm but we sure as hell look good after it! We possess a power many people dream about and we can only begin to discover it one word at a time. So get to writing then.
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