Emotional intelligence as a whole is one of the most crucial skills that an individual can possess. While it is very broad comprising of numerous facets, for this article I am going to focus on the importance of controlling emotions with regards to the words we say particularly when we are angry or emotional.
The tongue is one of the most powerful gifts of God to mankind. The words spoken by the tongue have the power to motivate, encourage, enrich, inspire, create relationships, and build someone. They also have the power to do the opposite and discourage, humiliate hurt, and end relationships. In simple terms, words can have either a positive or negative impact.
It is easy for one to speak positive words when everything is well but not so much when one is angry or emotional. However, it is more important for one to be able to hold their tongue and be able to mind their words when angry or emotional as compared to when all is well. This is because as humans, we tend to say nasty things that we might not even mean when we are angry or emotional. Unfortunately, once words are spoken, they are not retractable. We can always get past our anger or emotions and even apologize but we can never take back words once we speak them. The people we offend with our negative words can always forgive us but they may never forget the words. Depending on the depth of the words, some people may never see or treat us the same.
While I strongly encourage people to openly communicate and express their feelings (because not doing so may cause a build-up of bottled emotions that will eventually explode), I also encourage people to express themselves in a sensitive manner that is also considerate of the other party’s feelings. I appreciate and acknowledge that it is not an easy thing to sensor your own words while angry or emotional. Regardless, the ability to do so will go a long way in starting, building, and maintaining relationships. This vital skill requires maturity and foresight. One may be overwhelmed by certain feelings at one moment but eventually, those feelings will fade and be replaced by other feelings. If you have already spat venom, however, reconciliation might prove to be that much harder if not impossible.
Moreover, tomorrow is unpredictable and the roles of today may be reversed tomorrow and one may find himself/herself on the other side. That said, I implore each and every one of us to consider very carefully our choice of words before we speak them. Should we find ourselves angry or emotional, I suggest we take time to process everything and only speak when we are in a position to be more selective of the words we say. If we have to note positive to say to someone rather we keep quiet. Should criticism be required, let it be constructive and objective criticism.
From experience, I know that words have the power to burn or build bridges. Words have the power to give hope or destroy someone. Let us chose our words wisely, let us strive to only speak words that have a positive impact on others, and not negative. There is extraordinary power in words, learn to hold your tongue!
Wadzanai Ashley Mushakwe
(Entrepreneur, Author, Motivational Speaker, Master of Ceremony, Coach Sportsman
Social Media @Wadzanai Ashley Mushakwe
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