By: Rutendo Amanda Munedzimwe
You can’t help it. The feeling is deeply ingrained and no you can’t forgive him. How could he make you pregnant and then deny it, swearing that he never touched you? Leaving you with a child out of wedlock not to mention the disgrace. And so you seethe with anger and vow you never want anything to do with men again. That they are nothing but evil brats. You get asked out several times but you always reject without thinking twice. I am protecting myself you say. But is that so? Could it be that you are still resentful over that one guy who supposedly broke your heart? What exactly is resentment and is it really that bad?
Resentment is a bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly. You usually feel resentment when someone you love and trust does something wrong to you. Unlike anger which can be flashy and momentary, resentment can weigh on your heart and can last for years.
You are probably resentful if when you recall a particular incident you feel anger recurring in you and deep bitterness. It’s ironic but we usually resent situations we have little or no say in. You being put up for adoption at birth, being orphaned at a tender age, losing money after an investment due to hyperinflation. The bad part about resentment is that like cancer, it can gnaw at you so silently causing havoc on your life.
My mom passed away when I was 10 and it’s ironic how I felt deep resentment at her passing away. I resented the doctors who I felt had not done enough to save her life. I resented her for I felt she had been too selfless she should have taken better care of herself and health. And I resented myself over my helplessness for though I wanted her so much I could do nothing to prolong her life. What’s the essence of my story? We remain resentful at situations we don’t have the power to change. Harming only ourselves for resentment is like eating poison and expecting not to die. I hated my mom for being selfless but I myself was following that same trait. By remaining resentful, what was I hoping to solve? Would it even rouse her from the dead? Was my resentment helping anyone or helping me cope with her loss?
No, I was hurting only myself for through resentment I fell into depression and had to get treatment. Because of resentment and anger, I resorted to prescription drug abuse hurting myself and my body. Why I even tried to commit suicide. But who’s life would have been lost? Only mine.
That was a wakeup call for me.
A call I am making to you today.
Let go of that resentment I beg. You are hurting only yourself. The person you might resent probably doesn’t even know you are resentful. in my case, I was resentful at a dead person.
Let go of that resent not because you condone the actions but because you want your own life to be better. Let go of resentment because you need that peace and serenity. Only You hold the keys to happiness in your life. Not even the person you are resenting has that power. You have the power. Do not let yesterday hijack your tomorrow. Forgive and let go.
So what if they made you late for an important interview? So what? Does remaining resentful give you back the lost time?
So what if they rejected your submissions and proposals? So what? Does remaining resentful change their minds?
So what if she burnt that supper? So what? Does refusing to eat make your stomach full. Its only you who will die of hunger.
Let it GO!!
You don’t need such a mess in your life!
You deserve better!
Forgiveness is the best gift one can give and I am happy I gave it to myself.
Don’t be stingy. Give yourself some love. Let go of that resentment!!!