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How You Can Murder Someone Without Knowing It?

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By: Damian Chiemezie How you murder someone without your knowledge. Damian is slightly bothered. Not for anything but what we ignore as a requirement for true success. These words #emotional_intelligence_ ring in my mind each time I relate with people; and each time I converse with my SELF

I don’t know how those words were explained to you but I want to interpret it in non-conventional language See, my good friend, emotional intelligence means so many things to different folks. For a sex worker, it could mean: being considerate with a dying client—one in a sexual drive that cannot be quenched. Because his pay is not equal to your brand and he is almost dying to have you, you sympathize with him and give him your service.

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Is that not emotional intelligence to a sex worker?

To a businessman. It could mean entertaining insults from customers provided they give you what you need— Money To someone going through tough times, it could mean being able to withstand the pressures of adversity irrespective of the magnitude

For a philanthropist, it could mean making sure that people around you or beyond are always smiling through your generosity. My dear friend, all of the above could be interpreted as emotional intelligence. You are absolutely right.

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But… But what if…

What of concealing your happiness to someone less fortunate than your SELF. Really?

You didn’t get me. Let me break it down so that I will save someone from raising this kind of filthy dust when hobnobbing with the underprivileged. You came to school and asked Amaka:

What did you eat, buddy?

Amaka answered: “Hmmm. I almost came to school on an empty stomach but I managed to drink _garri_ etcheew! The garri self, I no put am sugar”

As Amaka narrated her ordeal in the breakfast she just had, you lightened your face. Like, you were comfortable smiling instead of tightening your face to show sympathy. As if that was not enough…

Amaka turned to you and asked: “You know? What did you eat this morning? And you answered: “Wow! Amaka, you should have seen the sizable chicken I consumed this morning, garnished with… And I made sure I flushed it with a cool juice–straight from the refrigerator.

And Amaka looked at you and feigned ease. She just made you think she was happy with you. ????? And you think you are not a murderer. ?

What more emotional crime is worse than this? Do you want Amaka to be happy or sad? Are you really a good friend? What of thinking of a holy lie? You could say: “Amaka, you are even lucky you drank _garri_. Me, you know me not. I had to eat the abandoned food, cooked three days ago.? . Na food I swear not to eat ooo but hunger prompted that decision.

What will Amaka say or do? She will feel at peace and understand that the difficulty she is passing through is not peculiar to her.

? It is called #emotional_intelligence

I repeat: it is called Emotional Intelligence. Learn it.

Sometimes, your _Intelligence Quotient_ needn’t be applied to save someone. Let’s look at another scenario: Your friend confided in you that she bought _okrika cloth_ from one ogbenge corner like that.

What did you say? You began to narrate how you went to Shoprite with your boyfriend —to buy brand new clothes packaged in one fancy Chinese bag.

Storyteller. Shhhhh?

Why your joyful story? When you know too well, Amaka is from a poor background and was only privileged to be your friend. And cannot afford those luxuries. You want her to begin to misbehave. Isn’t it?

And you want to tell me you are not a murderer? You are– because you murder people emotionally. Hence, I am here to challenge you to be emotionally intelligent. Please repent?

Learn sympathy or better still _empathy_ Learn them at all costs.

I call them #ultimate_intelligence_ that leads to #true_success

They cannot ( or may not) be learnt in our traditional school.

Give thyself permission to learn and practice them.
____
Stay strong, Damian

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LIFE

What You Need To Understand About Love

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When truth hates then healing begins

Love gives birth to marriage but love is not marriage. Be wise to know the difference. You may be married but not in love and be in love but not married. Marriage may secure you a husband or wife but it does not secure your, love.

Love is easier to define but easier to be felt. People die for love, something they cannot touch. How funny?

Don’t search for love , you won’t find it . It’s like trying to search for a network signal while in airplane mode. Don’t look for it, it will find you.

Don’t confuse attraction with love. Love lasts for a long time, attraction doesn’t. Attraction is a spark to start the fire. What you might think is love is just a matchstick, be patient and see where the rabbit hole goes.

Love lasts forever only when you complement each other not compete with each other. Remember a man’s home is his castle not a battlefield.

Love is a team sport let’s play the ball, score together, and get the trophy together. Men have a superego, when you are applauded in public don’t forget to applause the woman in the background. ( e.g thank you for your supporting me throughout the journey but I couldn’t do it without my wife) Don’t make it unfair like football. Those who get the glory are the strikers for making goals but never applaud the defenders who defend the ball. After all, football is not marriage.

If your spouse does wrong, don’t publish it in public. You may think you are embarrassing your spouse but you are tarnishing the image of your whole home. Remember when you are married you are ONE.

Remember in life you have different roles but you remain being you.
You might have different role but you are still the same person. You are a father, CEO, a brother, someone’s uncle, someone’s son, a husband or a grandson. You will realise you will never be good at all roles.

Some are good husbands but bad fathers, some are good fathers but terrible husbands. Such is life.

I love learning, I launch to become the best but I assigned myself to remain a student of life. Let’s keep learning. These are words to ponder. Most importantly let’s pray for wisdom.
(Heart Chronicles)

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LIFE

Here Is What Men Need To Know About Women

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ByBlessing E. Moyo

This is no secret:
Women are emotional creatures. To de-complicate your confusion towards women its only done by connecting to their feelings, that your biggest data transfer cable.

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Notice that whenever you ask a woman, “What do you think?” She will tell you what she feels about your idea. Its not that women don’t use logic, just that their emotions are connected to everything.

Be in touch with your emotions, you will get along too well, however dont be a whimper.

Men should learn to listen. Within every woman there is a gentle voice which yearns to be heard. all women’s ideas are attached to an emotion.

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Listening to a woman( in terms of woman’s dictionary) is a sign of care and love. however be careful of pretending to listen. Women can spot easily if you are pretending.

Sometimes a woman want you to listen to the problem not necessarily to solve her problem. Sometimes she just want to offload her worries and the more she talks the more she releases her stress.

Women want to feel loved. While men neglect consistency at times, to a woman -consistency is a measure if she is still being loved. If you always made a phone call at 2100hrs every night and then you skip one or two nights without making a call, she will think someone else has filled that void or probably you no longer love her.
Consistency does not matter much to men but it matters to women. women want to be constantly reassured that you love them. Showing that you love them does not go out of fashion.

Whilst providing for the family is a measure for love in men but with women it is different. Spend quality time with your woman, it does not mean dont go out with your fellow men to watch a football game during weekends but always slot in time with her. after all she is not in your house to keep it but in the house to enjoy it with you.

Even though being mature comes with responsibility, sometimes going out and acting like 16 year olds will rekindle the fire.You may grow old together but love always grow younger. ( Like adults you have to go outskirts not to be seen lingering in the CBD)

All a woman needs is going beyond affection, if women were politics i would need affection to win an election.

Never forget anniversaries and birthdays, that would be emotionless of you in the women’s dictionary.

(Heart Chronicles)

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