Is there any specific age difference for relationships?

There is no specific age difference when it comes to relationships. People differ and so are the circumstances that influence them. It is therefore quite misleading to say that there is a specific age gap that couples should have for a relationship to be successful. However, recent studies have shown that there is an ideal age gap.

A study in the Journal of Population Economics pointed out that,  partners who had a zero to three-year age gap revealed that they were happy and more satisfied with their relationship than those with a four- to six-year gap. Likewise, couples with a four- to six-year age difference showed greater satisfaction than those with a seven-plus year gap. This means, that marital satisfaction decreases as the age difference increase… Nonetheless, it should be noted that what really makes a relationship a success is the effort and work that both parties involved put.

What’s your take on long and short-distance relationships?

Short distance relationships are ideal. These are the kind of relationships everybody should strive for, the reason being that, long distance relationships require one to go an extra mile in putting that effort and work to make the relationship a success. At the end of the day, the success of a relationship is heavily depended on a couple’s maturity, communication skills, loyalty, honesty, spirituality, authenticity and commitment. However, I feel that with long distance relationships require more effort, energy and work.

One needs to have top-notch communication skills, very secure and very mature, faithful, and committed to managing that kind of relationship. It is that “extra effort” that makes them a bit strenuous compared to short-distance relationships. And also with a long-distance relationship, it becomes a bit difficult or rather it might take a long time to know a person especially those small or seemingly harmless behaviours or habits. I am for short-distance relationships any day!

How long should be in a relationship start considering marriage?

People should be in a relationship long enough to see each other in almost all states of being, emotional as well mental states to start considering marriage. Marriage is a big step and people shouldn’t rush to go on marrying if they don’t know how the other person behaves or how they relate to others when they are stressed, sick, broke, tired, hungry, feeling hopeless, angry etc. It is important to know these things first so you can be able to know if you can put up with whatever behaviours they exhibit.

How are issues solved in relationships?

Conflict resolution is an important characteristic of any relationship and good communication skills are at the centre of any successful conflict resolution/problem solving in a relationship. If the parties involved do not have good communication skills, addressing issues in a relationship becomes difficult. It is easier for a couple to solve relationship issues on their own if their communication skills are good. However, if their communication skills are not good, it is good for the couple to involve third parties and this range from family members, friends, and spiritual leaders to professional (trained) therapists or relationship coaches.

Relationship issues are addressed by having those honest, uncomfortable conversations. And parties involved should validate each other’s feelings; listen to each other’s concerns and then work together to resolve the issues. Working together or pulling in the same direction to address issues is the key. But that consensus is reached when there are  good communication skills.

What’s his take on sex before marriage what are the most important skills for a happy relationship?

I do not encourage sex before marriage. I am a firm believer that sex should happen in marriage. There are so many ways couples who are not married can bond and enjoy their relationship without sex, talk about, learning new life skills together, nurturing their talents together, helping each other to grow spiritually or financially or achieving goals or meeting deadlines be it at school or work, there are so many games in this world to learn and play… As for most important skills that couples need to learn to create or enhance their relationship I would say, communication skills.

The success of a relationship is determined by how well couples communicate to each other. The learning and success of all other skills is evident or can be appreciated if the communication between partners is on point.

What’s your take on Valentine’s Day?

I believe that it is a special day for couples to appreciate each other in a special way and show their gratitude to each other. Haha, a Christmas day for couples.

What is a man’s and woman’s position on valentine’s day?

It’s a day for both of them to appreciate each other and the best way to do this is by giving each other gifts or a gift and spending quality time together. Both of them should make it a mission to please the other.

What are some of the ways of showing and appreciating your partner?

Speaking their love language is the best way to start. Once you know your partner’s love language then it becomes very easy to figure out what else you can do more to show them that you appreciate them. People are different and they value things differently, therefore one should make an effort to learn and know what makes their partner tick and do those things.

To give pointers, tell them that you appreciate them. Yes it is said that actions speak louder than words, but actions only will not do the magic, there is a need to constantly tell your person that you love, care, and appreciate them. Cook their favourite meal, help them to meet a deadline either at work or at school, write them a note, buy them their favorite drink, chocolate or perfume, in short, buy them a gift, spend time with them and always compliment them…

Is it a must to get your love a gift on Valentine’s?

The best answer to that is, know your person and their love language… Yes it is a nice thing to receive or get a gift from your partner on Valentine’s day but other people value spending time with their person more or having their person tell them how much they are grateful to have them in their lives. So in as much as it is a good gesture to get your person a gift on Valentine’s Day, the best is to get to know what exactly do they really want you to do on that day and do it. Learn to read the room. What is your partner hinting at… Do that.

Should couples celebrate love on Valentine’s Day only?

Definitely no! Every day is an opportunity for couples to celebrate their love for each other. However, Valentine’s day is that one day on the calendar that is specifically attributed to couples to appreciate each other and I believe it’s a good thing for couples to make it a special day for each other.

What are the things couples should do to make their valentines memorable and romantic?

It’s the best day to make that effort to speak each other’s love language, have that candlelight dinner, revisit your vows, goals, and vision as a couple. The whole idea is to find what the other person would love you to do for them and do it. It’s that effort that makes the whole experience memorable and romantic.